I Now Own A White Shirt

There is a strong chance that, if my father ever reads this post, the title alone will make him say, "oh no!" Quite possibly, he'll say it out loud. Might even turn to my mother and show her the title. 

But, no, it's legit. We were shopping for clothes for Vi, kind of for the first time for real since the pandemic started. At some outlets, I noticed a Vineyard Vines, which I know Amanda not only likes, but looks really good in. It's been a while since we got her new stuff, too. And while we were in there, I saw, and purchased.... this:

I still don't know who reads this, but it's possible someone has no idea why this relates at all to my overarching subject. Family? Food? Music?

Alright, maybe not that last one (although none of my concert tshirts are ever white). My parents learned fairly early on not to buy me white tshirts as a kid. So, there's the family part. But.... Food. Heh. I could picture a bunch of people who know me just sort of smirking.

Look, I eat. For most of my life, I've eaten a lot. And, until very recently, I've eaten fast. Sometimes really fast. So, why's that matter?

Let's start by considering some of the stuff I love. Pasta with a tomato based sauce, pizza, hot dogs and hamburgers with mustard or BBQ Sauce, chicken with BBQ Sauce, and a lot of other things... with sauces.

You know how babies wear bibs, even when they've gotten the eating thing down pretty well, because you never know if something is going to drop? And how, the messier the meal, the more likely one thing drops, but makes a huge mess?

So... I don't wear a bib. And some of my darker tshirts have some oil stains on them. From a lot of different foods. When I least expect it.

On a dark shirt, you can kind of get past it. Or at least, I can convince myself that it's not time to throw that one out yet. Dark covers. On a white shirt, that just doesn't work. And, oh boy have I destroyed some favorite shirts. After a while, white only existed in my closet for basketball (we played white and colors, so I'd toss a jersey over a white shirt, making it easy if I had to swap as we switched around teams).

You know, I only own one white dress shirt, which I wore for my wedding (and barely ate)... and maybe my niece's Bat Mitzvah. And now I own a white tshirt, which I actually need for a family photo. So, you won't see me wearing that shirt until then. And it also means breakfast for dinner - Amanda said she's making pancakes - is totally fine (and might be the last time I ever wear my Batman tshirt... nah, it's dark, I can hide syrup stains).